All That Glitters

Last week in my General English classes, we did a lesson on metrosexuality.  This lesson was Unit 10 in the workbook I am required to teach out of, and needless to say was among the more interesting topics we've discussed this semester.  After three weeks of skits, presentations and writing assignments about global warming and alternative energies, I think everyone was ready for something a little ... spicier.  Having to interact with the word "sex" in any written or oral form already throws my students into mild hysterics, so I was pretty excited to see what came of this lesson.  After reading and discussing a brief text outlining the definition of metrosexuality and doing some vocabulary and grammar activities, I had my students write and perform short skits with the intention of exploring the definition of the quintessential "metrosexual man."  As I suspected might happen, many of the skits devolved quickly into parodies of queeny gay men, so I wrapped up the class with a serious discussion about the different meanings of the terms metrosexual, heterosexual, homosexual and bisexual, and about the significance of labeling people in general (gotta be responsible about terminology, dontchaknow).  

Wanting to milk this for all it was worth, however, for their short response assignment that week I asked them to write two paragraphs about whether they thought labeling people was a good thing or bad thing (and why?), as well as what label they would make up to describe their own lifestyle.  Obviously this assignment was crafted partially to give them a relevant venue in which to practice their written English skillz (which they get every week), and mostly to provide me with hilarious reading material (which I do not get every week).  Sadly for me, most of my students responded with some variation on the theme "I would label my lifestyle 'casual lifestyle' because I am casual, I just like to have fun."  (It seems my students are leading lives ALMOST as interesting as mine!)  However, there were a few gems scattered among the rest, which I will now share with you:

GENERAL ENGLISH GEMSTONES ROUND TWO

"If I had to make up a label in my own lifestyle, I will label myself is pinky girl, why?  Because as a girl I prefer pink color than other."

"And I think I don't have any label for my own lifestyle, because I'm very usual.  I like to go to the café and chat with my friends.  I'm not really care about style and fashion.  I like to read a book and doing a crazy thing when I got stress."

"If I have to make a label which is indicates my own style, maybe I will choose word 'UnManiac Heterosexual,' because I love opposite gender, but I'm not a maniac."

"Maybe my name's label is funcosexual, it is concise of funny and cool."

Don't you wish you, too, could have a funcosexual lifestyle?  I know I do.  And since I know that now I've piqued your appetites for General English Gemstones, fear not -- I'm giving them another chance to spin straw into gold with their final paper, the topic for which is "My Life in 20 Years."  I can't wait.